Wedding Dramas: Because if no one else noticed… did it even go wrong? (Ep 10)

Episode 10: Wedding Dramas

From timeline slip-ups to family tension and rogue guests, we break down the wedding “disasters” that aren’t actually disasters. Are couples chasing perfection at the expense of the vibe? When things go off-plan — whether it’s rain, running late, or a vendor mistake — we dig into what really matters, what guests actually notice, and when to let things slide.

Because if no one else noticed… did it even go wrong?

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:36

So first of all, in case you've forgotten, I'm Adam from a nightcell photography.

SPEAKER_03 0:42

I'm Amber from Amber Butler Photography.

SPEAKER_01 0:45

I'm Harry from I do Flex Wedding Videography.

SPEAKER_05 0:48

I'm Dean John. You have to think about it. I'm Dean John, event planner, host, DJ, content creator, and just general nice guy. Okay. Cool.

SPEAKER_02 1:02

Well that's half an episode gone. Thanks for interesting. So this is about like when dramas, disasters. So most when disasters are only disasters because the couple knows the plan. Okay? So a lot of guests wouldn't even notice if there was a disaster or if or if anything went wrong. So what's something couples panic over that guests genuinely don't notice, do you think? So I'll give you an example. So what about music starting late? So bride's just about to walk down the aisle.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

Yeah, I mean, I don't I mean, yeah, I I can the thing is a a a wedding is the bride's kind of dream, like fairy tale kind of moment, right? Yeah. So in their heads it's got to be perfect, but it's not something that any of the guests are ever gonna remember. If the mus I've had it before where the bride's walking down the aisle and it sounds like the music's coming from someone's phone because because the staff are maybe of the older persuasion and they don't realise they haven't connected the Bluetooth yet, right? And it's just this really faint music coming through, and you could see her face, but at the same time, nobody gave a shit. It was still an amazing wedding, probably one of the best weddings I've shot. Yeah, and that's not something that sticks out in my mind.

SPEAKER_02 2:17

No, no, exactly. No, what about you that you can think of?

SPEAKER_03 2:23

Not really.

SPEAKER_02 2:25

Right.

SPEAKER_03 2:28

Well, I just think there's little things.

SPEAKER_05 2:31

That would annoy me, the music you said about Harry. Yeah, but that's sticking out in my head, and it's sticking out in yours because you just brought it up.

SPEAKER_01 2:36

Yeah, because it was triggered by.

SPEAKER_05 2:38

They spent 20k on their wedding but forgot someone to manage their music or have a live singer. Yeah, I know. But the crucial point of their wedding.

SPEAKER_03 2:44

Yeah, I mean I've had ones where like um I had one where their meal was completely different to what they had ordered.

SPEAKER_05 2:50

Oh wow, yeah, that was I've had that when they were vegans. And they got meat, they got meat dishes plonked right in front of them. I think you've mentioned it before in Arabia, I think.

SPEAKER_03 2:59

Um but then I don't I don't think the guests it doesn't affect the guests, does it? Like, they still enjoyed their meal.

SPEAKER_05 3:08

I did a wedding where the maid of honour was the vegan ones. Eat apart from the vegan ones. And the guests noticed because that was like the bride was ready, the maid of honour wasn't, and it probably half an hour, 35 minutes, the registrars were in the room at that point, they'd unpacked their briefcases, and still everyone was a little bit twitchy, like they were sitting in an airplane stuck on a big one.

SPEAKER_01 3:30

But the thing is though, you know, the wedding can proceed without a maid of honour, can't it? Like I know she's gonna be like walking down the aisle and stuff, but at the same time, like, yeah, that's just gonna be one like in years to come, they're gonna be on the piss or whatever, and it's gonna be like, Do you remember that time when you weren't gonna even fucking turn up to my wedding? Yeah. And it will be a joke. But like, yeah, you know, I don't think that's something that they would ever like, you know, divide friendships over.

SPEAKER_02 3:55

No, and I I think like when there's like a bit of a timeline delay, especially you know, to do the ceremony, if the ceremony's supposed to be at one, obviously all the guests are seated from quarter to one anyway, they're all sat there, you know, it gets to five past one, and they're like, okay. And they're probably not that bothered in the grand scheme of things. The the only people that are bothered are probably the registrars because they might have another wedding to go to, yeah. And and maybe the groom's getting a bit twitchy, thinking, God, you know, has she done a runner? The chef. Well, an impact on the rest of the street. I don't know if the chef will be getting twitchy at that point. The chef won't have a twitch.

SPEAKER_05 4:26

They probably wouldn't have even turned up to work at that point. But I hope so. If they were literally about to deliver an 80 people cover in in an hour and a half after that.

SPEAKER_02 4:35

Well, yeah, maybe. But no, I just I just think that many meals otherwise. The guests aren't really gonna they're not gonna remember that, are they? If if the bride's 10 minutes, 15 minutes late, they're not gonna remember that. It's just a bit annoying. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 4:47

She was 45 minutes late down the aisle though, I'm talking about. Oh yeah, 45 minutes. 45 minutes because the maid of honour was in the shower. That's that's while the bride was ready at after her after her interview as well. What we're talking about.

SPEAKER_03 4:59

Did she wait for her?

SPEAKER_01 5:00

Yeah. And I would have just sat off and just was this because there were there weren't enough makeup artists and hairstylists on the day, and the maid of honour was just the last in line. There was only a maid of honour and a bride. Okay, there's no excuse for that. Two.

SPEAKER_03 5:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:16

So even more important that she went down then. It was, yeah. It'd be awkward otherwise. I've always 50% of the people weren't there.

SPEAKER_03 5:22

I know of a wedding, I didn't do it personally, but the they had like um food vendors turning up like um in the evening and no one turned up, so they had to just order a load of dominoes. Alright. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 5:34

That was quite a nice uh, have you seen that on TikTok with a McDonald's where they bring in loads of McDonald's to the wedding breakfast and put it out every time?

SPEAKER_03 5:41

I think it was burger bands and stuff, but they didn't turn up.

SPEAKER_01 5:43

I'm really torn about that idea, to be fair. Or for the evening, though, I think. If you hired like a marquee and did it alocato, wasn't like their main thing. Like if you actually paid McDonald's to come in and they had like a counter and there was a menu behind, and it was just like, and all the prices just said zero next to it. Yeah, and it and then and you could maybe go up to one of those electric kind of they are, isn't it? That's it. Next thing everyone gets McFlorid's. Order number 69. Do you guys ever see the evening buffet?

SPEAKER_02 6:10

Yeah.

unknown 6:10

No.

SPEAKER_02 6:11

Yeah. You do, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:13

Occasionally.

SPEAKER_02 6:14

Not often. But obviously I've been I've been to weddings as a guest. Yeah. So you know, I'm not oblivious to a buffet. Um, but yeah, not as much as you, obviously. But you probably don't see a lot of uh brides getting ready either. So it works both ways, isn't it?

SPEAKER_05 6:28

A few. Yeah, that's true, actually. When I'm hosting a wedding, I I see them get re I try not to watch them get ready, but yeah, I And I don't mean that in a creepy way of watching brides get ready.

SPEAKER_02 6:38

Yeah, sorry. That sounds weird.

SPEAKER_01 6:40

It swings around us because we also got to see the grooms get ready as well. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:44

Yeah, exactly. But they're not they're normally dressed by the time we go in there, which is great. You know. Um but yeah, talking about um that's a good segue, actually. Uh people getting dressed in the morning. So I did a wedding once, um and so normally, so just picture the scene. Normally, when I arrive a couple of hours before the ceremony, I'll turn up to wherever the bride's getting ready, whether it be at the venue, a hotel, or a house. And they're all wearing like these nice silk gowns with their you know bride on the back or whatever. There's hair and makeup artists, there's music-on, and everyone's you know having their hair and makeup done. Um and it's a really nice atmosphere in a beautiful setting, generally. Um anyway, this one particular time I turned up at the bride's house. Um you know, it was a very small lounge, okay. It's a smell of wet dog. Um I think it was wet dog anyway, it might have been something else. But anyway, um, so that wasn't a good start. It was really dark. And rather than having like a pretty bridesmaid helping her do the back of her dress out, it was her brother, who was a big guy, um just in his pants. So I had to get nice photos of this big guy in his pants doing at the back of his sister's dress, in this room that I couldn't even move, while the smell was overwhelming me.

SPEAKER_05 8:19

Um no one would be able to narrow that welding down, will they, when you start talking about wow.

SPEAKER_04 8:26

Seriously, you might as well say the address and cut. Yeah. Welling drama.

SPEAKER_01 8:34

Drama other.

SPEAKER_02 8:36

How is that a drama anyway? It's a drama for me. You've just been dying to get that off your chest for years, haven't you? No, it's a drama for me because uh, you know, I had to like make you know a good situation.

SPEAKER_03 8:47

Just do it with trousers on or Well, you know, I don't want to be rude.

SPEAKER_05 8:51

Or do it love and then get someone else to pretend that they've done it. No, I don't with the old.

SPEAKER_02 8:56

I just did some close-ups of his buttonholes. Oh I didn't get a white shot. I did let's put it this way, I didn't get a wide shot, right? Um so yeah, that was uh a wedding drama from my point of view, okay. I mean I I could talk all day about that particular wedding in terms of the dramas that happened, but you know, we haven't got long enough. Um so what about um other issues like when the cake is leaning slightly? I mean I've had that a few times, especially in the summer.

SPEAKER_01 9:24

I think that's that so that would just not necessarily be drama, but that would be stress. Like, because in my head, I'm like that cake needs to be cut before it can't be cut anymore. Do you know what I mean? Like well, before it's messed. If it falls over, then it won't be cut, will it? It'll be splat. Oh, I see what you mean. Right, okay. So that like that's why sometimes I've seen like cakes kind of starting to subside, and I'm like, um, maybe we should bring the cake cut forward a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 9:50

Six hours.

SPEAKER_01 9:50

Yeah, yeah. But it's always it's I mean, shout out to all the cake makers. It's not usually the cake makers, it's usually when like the aunt makes the cake or someone they know make the cake, then that's often when I find that that happens. It's very rare that a professional cake maker has that cake.

SPEAKER_02 10:09

Yeah, very rare. Um, but yeah, I've had one where it wasn't it wasn't necessarily the cake maker's fault, but where the cake was, it was like in the window, and it was a summer's day, and the sun was just shining on it all day, and it was just starting to kind of like sink into itself.

SPEAKER_03 10:26

I had one where the Nan made it the other week, but they had travelled with the cake and then they were staying overnight before, so they didn't have a fridge to put the cake in. It was still January, like it was still cold, so they left it in their car, but it's still brilliant.

SPEAKER_04 10:39

Yeah, just one eating a nice piece of cake from the car. Have you ever had a few boo and done the cake out from the bonnet? Yeah, it tastes like petrol.

SPEAKER_03 10:49

Parts of it was like have you ever had a cake subsidence?

SPEAKER_01 10:53

Like as in a full cake disaster.

SPEAKER_05 10:56

I've had one where they've cut and it's completely mashed through. Oh really? Like two too massive? Yeah, too massive because it got too hot. So yeah, big naked cake, cut down, it was too hot, and it just literally the knife went through and it just went splurted everywhere.

SPEAKER_01 11:16

As in like it was undercooked and raw?

SPEAKER_05 11:18

No, just like it was just mush after.

SPEAKER_01 11:20

Oh.

SPEAKER_05 11:21

So yeah. Oh god. But it was good for the good for the uh the photographer.

SPEAKER_01 11:26

I've had it where they went to cut, but then they were nervous, and the last minute they went like that, and then instead of cutting us like into the cake, they cut a slice off the edge, and then it just fell off like that. Which just made it funny, it wasn't driver, they found it funny.

SPEAKER_05 11:38

Have you had many couples that have smashed it in each other's faces and you think? Usually just the dollop on the nose. It's usually the I can't go over that because you're about to do your first dance, and you're in like the most probably best outfit that Blake's worn all his life, and then she's like rubbed the whole cake around. It's got it all over the case.

SPEAKER_03 11:57

It's just like an impulse thing, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 11:58

But also, but also that. Yeah. So I think it's about knowing your audience there, right? I'd be fuming. Yeah, but like, so your missus would know you'd be fuming, right?

SPEAKER_00 12:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:07

So so I'd probably drop kicker. Yeah, right, exactly. So I presume your missus didn't do that.

SPEAKER_05 12:14

I'd be I'd be up for it, but not not after that moment, knowing that two seconds later I'm just about to do my first. Let's bring the cake to the bedroom, both. Or if it was at 11 o'clock at night was the last thing we did before we were done, then that's fine. But it's used to be in like sticky cake.

SPEAKER_03 12:33

Yeah, but I think when you're cutting it, it's like an impulse thing, like, oh, I just really want to just chuck the two when you're in Lapland.

SPEAKER_05 12:40

No, front cake was closing, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_03 12:43

That's a dramatically too well. Okay, not too well.

SPEAKER_02 12:47

So would she so what would she have done if you smashed a cake in her face? I probably would have just got a ring and went just through the ring.

SPEAKER_03 12:54

Give me like an element and then go on.

SPEAKER_04 12:56

So she does not have it. No, no, this is saying this. What would she have? Well, she loves things all over her face, but not at that time.

SPEAKER_02 13:03

Not at that time. She doesn't mind creaming her face. She loves it.

unknown 13:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:06

She loves it.

SPEAKER_01 13:07

And just not in front of 200 people. Okay. A minute before you first dance. On behalf of your husband, Natalie, I'd like to apologise.

SPEAKER_02 13:18

Yeah, so as a photographer, I I would love people to smash cake in each other's face more often.

SPEAKER_00 13:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:24

I crave that. But crave it.

SPEAKER_04 13:26

You're right, you're gonna set a trend. You're gonna set a trend. We couple now is just absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 13:33

I want a food fight every fucking wedding, right?

SPEAKER_03 13:36

But no, the thing is As long as I'm not anywhere near the feed.

SPEAKER_02 13:40

My camera then. But um no, I want them to smash each other's face and just push the cake over. You know, it works for that.

SPEAKER_01 13:48

That's a little bit like the champagne spray, right? And it's like, you know, everyone else gets covered, we don't get covered. Spray it out the camera, but we're far enough away. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 13:57

I don't want any part of it, I just want to capture it. Exactly. So let's talk about weather meltdowns, okay? So I I think rain causes more stress than family members do. Um so do you think bad weather's actually a problem, or do you think couples create the chaos themselves?

SPEAKER_05 14:12

I think suppliers also can can be the issue. Yeah, because if you work with some photographers or videographers and they're they're like getting aggy about it, and they're like, Oh, I've got all these photos to do, and I'm gonna need like 45 minutes to do it, and now look at the weather.

SPEAKER_01 14:27

The only time I would get aggy about it is if it had been raining all day and suddenly there's a break in the clouds, and I'm like, guys, we've got an opportunity to get out now and get some because like the sun's just coming out, yeah. And then if they weren't up for it, it's their wedding, right? So I don't care, you do what you want to do, but like that's the only time I'd be like, Oh, this is a shame. But for the most part, you can't control the weather, so don't fucking stress about it.

SPEAKER_02 14:48

Yeah, and it's alright for suppliers to bitch about it between each other. Yeah, but not. If I was going to a number, I might be like, Oh God's sake, it's roading. I'd never say it's a bright and group. Hell no. Um you've got to be caught, haven't you? Yeah, you've got to make be like, don't worry about it, we've got some umbrellas, it's fine. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:03

Yeah, I it depends on the venue as well. If they've got if they've got a nice area inside, you're fine.

SPEAKER_01 15:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:09

Um can be quite stressful when you they want badly photos. I wouldn't say that's really anywhere.

SPEAKER_01 15:14

Considering the country we live in, I do find that a lot of venues struggle with like with inside spaces that can like be a nice back. Be a good substitute for outdoor kind of photo shoots. Like you would have thought that would be something that they'd focus on, but everywhere's really dark, yeah, like white balance is always. Yeah, but they just want their loudly photos done. Do you know what I mean? Like, that's definitely something they could do with some improvement.

SPEAKER_03 15:40

Yeah, massively.

SPEAKER_02 15:41

I mean, considering like the weather we've had this year, which has been awful. I've I had two weddings in February, and both of one of them was like a beautiful sunny day, and the other one it was you know a bit cold, but it was dry. And I was like, son, how lucky is that? Like in February. So yeah, I just think and then you get weddings in August where it hammers it down all day.

SPEAKER_01 16:00

Well, August is like one of the most unreliable months, isn't it? Yeah, I agree, I agree. So May May, I think, is like the one.

SPEAKER_02 16:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:08

May is shout out to all our May call. April, May.

SPEAKER_02 16:11

I think April's pretty good.

SPEAKER_01 16:13

May's May's good for so many reasons. You got the the you've got two bank holidays, yeah. And there's usually a half term in there as well, so all the teachers can go and get get their married married weddings on. Married weddings on, get their weddings on. And yeah, and the weather's usually banging as well. And also, some lucky people can do May the 4th. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:34

Do you get that reference? Just so they can say May the 4th. Yeah. Being with you. Oh, there we actually.

SPEAKER_02 16:40

Yeah, yeah. Speak up a bit. Um, okay.

SPEAKER_03 16:43

So just get told off.

SPEAKER_02 16:46

So, so yeah, so regarding bad weather, just talk about that for a bit longer. So, um, so I've had weddings where the ceremony was going to be outside. Oh, Michael Fish way, isn't it? You are. Should we? No, so basically, like I've I've had weddings where the ceremony was supposed to be outside, and then literally, you know, clouds come over and they've had to move all the chairs inside, and and some venues, you know, some venues are like well-oiled machines, like they will they can flip like in like 10 minutes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:17

But then some aren't.

SPEAKER_02 17:18

Some aren't, no. So, you know, it's uh I mean, do you like an outdoor ceremony? Yes.

SPEAKER_01 17:23

Yeah. I love it because of the amount of space you have to work with, usually. Yeah. Like just, you know, quite often when you get put in these little tiny rooms and you're and you've got a flower arch, and you've got, you know, like I don't know, some a musician, and then you've got the reg like the the other registrar, what are they called? The the other one. Celebrant. No, the the one that sat on the table. The legal bit one.

SPEAKER_03 17:49

So the legal person.

SPEAKER_01 17:50

Yeah. They're there, and then there might be like a little area for readings and stuff, and suddenly you're just so cramped in. Oh no. Whereas outdoor, do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 17:58

Yeah, the only problem with outdoor is sometimes when this if it's like really sunny, all the guests are like squinting, they're sweating, yeah, and the the light can be a bit harsh, especially if the sun's like coming from behind the bride as she walks down the aisle.

SPEAKER_01 18:13

So sometimes shit. My biggest sort of problem with outdoor is usually the wind with the microphones. That's usually like that can be a killer. Yeah, that's fair enough.

SPEAKER_02 18:25

And also another thing I like about outdoor weddings as well is you you people do the confetti shot while they're walking back down the aisle. So it kind of kills two boats at one stone.

SPEAKER_01 18:33

Yeah, but I don't like that. I like that you have the aisle walk and then you have the confetti shot as well, because it's it's extra stuff for us, isn't it? Like because I like how you're walking, they walk out down the aisle, and when there's no confetti, there's somebody will give you like someone will give the groom a fist pump or whatever, and then you know, like the bride will like have a little smile or a smirk at someone, or like, and it's like this nice moment that you have with your with your guests because the first time the bride's actually making eye contact with most of their guests, right? Yeah, and then the next time when it's like confetti, people their hands are full of confetti, the bride and groom are just doing this, they're not actually looking at any of the guests. So I like the two different situations because they do have different purposes.

SPEAKER_05 19:14

And we also like groom and groom weddings, don't we? When they both do it, so it's not just the bride's when they both do what? Same-sex weddings, we're a fan of the wheel. When they both do what? Well, we'll patter down the aisle.

SPEAKER_02 19:24

Okay. Okay. Yeah, I always give them the option. I say, Do you want to do the confetti when you walk back down, or do we need to set up a separate shot afterwards? But I I did I've done a cut- I've done two weddings, um, actually, they were both in a row randomly, where the bride and group forgot to bring the confetti and I had to photoshop it in afterwards.

SPEAKER_05 19:40

I think confetti's gonna stop soon, and bubbles is gonna be the main thing. Bubbles rubbish. That's what I think is gonna happen. No, but a lot of couples now are just getting to the point that they have just got confetti everywhere, all down, and it's just they like they're itching halfway through photo and they're annoyed.

SPEAKER_03 19:56

I'm saying it like right.

SPEAKER_05 19:57

What I don't get is they've spent all that money on their makeup, the bride, for instance, and got already in the hair and it's all a matk it, and they're looking the best they're gonna look, and they're all down the aisle, and then 25 minutes later, you'll just might as well get eggs and throw that out. Yeah, but you're talking about this as if it's it's a new thing, like, no, I know I know it's not a new thing, but what I'm saying, it's not I've noticed it in the last three weddings I've done, the couples are getting aggy about it because they are literally spending most of like their drinks reception for the first 15 minutes finding it everywhere.

SPEAKER_01 20:27

Yeah, so I think question for you, Amber would is there a risk that bubbles can ruin makeup and stuff like that? Or is or is it too yeah? So, would that not be more of a disaster?

SPEAKER_05 20:39

Your hair's ruined because there's bits like lighting.

SPEAKER_03 20:43

If you're using like rice confetti, like the bits that one that goes absolutely everywhere, like don't use that, it's not colourful, it's not great, but if you use like rice paper or real petals, yeah, that are easy to pick out.

SPEAKER_05 20:59

Yeah, real petals, but there's not very many weddings you do real petals. Usually it's a TV stuff that has the stuff that just flies for about an hour.

SPEAKER_02 21:07

Yeah, I just don't think bubbles get picked up very well on camera, especially if it's windy.

SPEAKER_05 21:10

I'm not saying that they're great and they're good, I'm just saying that couples are getting annoyed because mate who just drops it right down your back like that. I've told you about touching me. Sorry, mate, one more time. Your legs rubbing mine the whole time.

SPEAKER_02 21:22

Well, my legs are yeah, um alright, so we've we've talked about weather. I mean, look, if if if it rains or if it's too windy, or if it's a thunderstorm, or a tornado, whatever, like the weather, the weather isn't a personal tap on you, okay? You just gotta adapt. Don't let them remember your day, because the amount of bridens and grooms I've had that have really, really gone on about the weather. And I'm like, just enjoy the day. Don't worry about it. Do you know what I mean? I know it's July, I know it's rained, I know you're a bit disappointed.

SPEAKER_04 21:54

I'm disappointed they spent four grand extra for a Saturday in July. That's probably why.

SPEAKER_05 21:58

Yeah, but that's not.

SPEAKER_04 22:00

To be fair, that's true. And the sausages, do you plant sausages?

SPEAKER_05 22:04

Everyone likes it. Have you not seen that?

SPEAKER_01 22:06

Come on, don't tell me you don't know about that. Have you never buried a sausage? And it's meant to be good. It's supposed to be a sausage. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 22:14

You love a sausage. How are you literally not burying a sausage?

SPEAKER_03 22:18

What do you mean? What you cook a sausage?

SPEAKER_01 22:19

No, raw, raw, raw. I've been to a venue, right? Where they have a sausage. A sausage burial site. Yeah, because they because they have like.

SPEAKER_03 22:33

What's the story behind it?

SPEAKER_01 22:34

Well, it's just like a wives towel, isn't it? But like.

SPEAKER_03 22:36

Why it's like a sausage tree too.

SPEAKER_01 22:41

You know. But like they've got because quite often animals will like dig it up and stuff, so they've got a designated area for burying the sausages so that they can then come around like once every couple of days and undig the sausages. I'm a big job. Oh, the little sausage towel. No, no, it's true.

SPEAKER_02 22:55

We're serious.

SPEAKER_03 22:56

No. No, I know.

SPEAKER_02 22:57

It's just a tradition. If you bury a sausage, the weather will be good the next day.

SPEAKER_03 23:00

Oh. You never heard of that? No. Does it always work?

SPEAKER_01 23:04

To be fair, it's got a pretty good success rate for me. It depends what sausage it is. Yeah, because I've never buried one and it's no, no, no, to be fair, like the last couple of years, there's been loads of brushes.

SPEAKER_03 23:14

Every time before a wedding, you go and bury a sausage to make sure the weather's all good.

SPEAKER_01 23:18

What's funny though is every time I've I've said like to a bride, like, oh, um, have you did you bury a sausage last night? She's like, No, I check the weather, there's no point. It's gonna it's gonna rain. There's no point. Whereas everyone that checks the weather and it's gonna be sunny, they're like, we both bowed a sausage just in case.

SPEAKER_03 23:33

So success is always about asking my couples if they've been burying sausages.

SPEAKER_05 23:36

Maybe you should offer it when you do the pre-shoot. Yeah. You take a pack of Linda McCartney's with you. Yeah. To a full service. Or outins.

SPEAKER_03 23:46

No, Linda is a real sausage, though, is it?

SPEAKER_02 23:48

But you might have a vegan bike. You can't have a reggie sausage. A corn sausage is not gonna have the same effect.

SPEAKER_03 23:53

It needs to be like a pork one.

SPEAKER_02 23:54

Yeah, and apparently waitros, waitrose ones work better than like Tesco Valley ones or whatever. But it depends on the pig, and okay. Maybe you should bury the pig.

SPEAKER_03 24:04

Right.

SPEAKER_02 24:06

Okay, so um the next segment's about family drama, okay? So, like, for example, if your if your parents don't speak, your wedding isn't gonna fix that, okay? So the question is, like, that's an example. Should couples actively manage family tension or just let adults adults sort themselves out? Because, you know, it's not there, they've got enough on their plate, mate.

SPEAKER_01 24:28

Yeah, I think they're grown-ups, I think you've got enough stress going on in your own wedding day. Yeah, I think it's selfish of any of the guests that want to make that day about them for any reason. Yeah. I don't think there's any excuse for there to be any animosity or bad kind of vibes on a wedding day. Everyone needs to come with their A game regardless.

SPEAKER_02 24:50

Amen. Yeah, yeah. And like I've done a I've done group photos a couple of times and and I wasn't fully like keyed up on terms of like who's divorced from who and who do you know what I mean? And uh and I've done the group, I've set the group photo up, and then the the dad and the ex-wife I I put next to each other without you know realising, obviously. And they made a bit of a scene. I was like, Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were divorced. Do you know what I mean? Or or I put the the new step mum next to the old mum or whatever. Do you know what I mean? So sometimes people aren't very transparent about the situation. They expect me to be psychic in terms of like knowing who likes who and who doesn't like who. Yeah. So be a bit clearer, if it is an issue, just be a bit clearer about it.

SPEAKER_03 25:31

Yeah, like in your pre-reading.

SPEAKER_02 25:32

If people with me for the day, I always ask the question, especially for the ceremony.

SPEAKER_05 25:37

In my pre-wedding meeting, I will be. Yeah, it's carnage. But then sometimes I just like to watch the world burn.

SPEAKER_03 25:47

No, in the pre-wedding meeting, I will go through it all and I will get everyone's names and know who's who, and then hopefully there won't be any drama.

SPEAKER_02 25:55

Yeah, yeah, fair enough. Okay, and what about um like guests that you know that they might start drinking a bit too early? Like, you know, I've noticed a few.

SPEAKER_01 26:04

I've had I've had a groomsman that had to go in before the ceremony. Plenty of hell, yeah, that's good going.

SPEAKER_05 26:08

I've had a guest carried out literally at about six o'clock in the evening, just as the evening has started.

SPEAKER_04 26:14

That's because he heard your music.

SPEAKER_05 26:16

Because she literally What a prank.

SPEAKER_04 26:20

No, I know. Any of you?

SPEAKER_05 26:23

Yeah. Yeah. She got carried out. She was only heckled. The bride was getting heckled on a wedding day by this guest who was standing up during dinner.

SPEAKER_02 26:36

Oh, see, I want more weddings like that.

SPEAKER_03 26:37

See, I think it's quite entertaining, so I'm quite.

SPEAKER_01 26:40

I imagine when the bride's doing a speech and someone gets up and do you know what I I I hate it, right? During speeches, when there are heckling, like when there's like I don't mind the odd, like, you know, one liner or whatever, but when it's because you're recording it though. Yeah, but some people try and make it about them, yeah, right? Yeah. And then all what's annoying is in my videos when I'm making them, they're not mic'd up, the cameras aren't pointing at them. So it just creates this really awkward moment where everyone's looking off camera, you can't hear what they're saying, and everyone either laughs or says, shut up. Whatever.

SPEAKER_02 27:13

Yeah, it doesn't matter, does it?

SPEAKER_01 27:15

So it's just like, you know.

SPEAKER_02 27:22

Yeah. Could be who knows. And cut. Um so um, is it fair to police grown adults? It should you shouldn't have to. No, you shouldn't have to. You shouldn't, and if you're a par or a divorced parent or whatever, and you're making a scene on your son or daughter's wedding day, shame on you. Shame on you. Okay? Yeah. It's not about you. Um okay, so um some like in terms of like wedding timing, like you know, we to we did touch upon this earlier, like, weddings rarely run on time. The real question is whether that matters.

SPEAKER_03 27:55

Adam rarely runs on time right now. Why have I got this reputation for being late?

SPEAKER_02 27:59

Um I've never been late to a wedding, right? Um, so what what's worse, like running late or killing the vibe to stay on schedule?

SPEAKER_01 28:08

Depends. Okay, so for example, this is a quick fire, isn't it? No, okay, good, so I can.

SPEAKER_02 28:14

But you can be quick as you want.

SPEAKER_01 28:15

So, like it depends because usually when something's delayed, it comes at the cost of something else, right? Yeah. So if you have time in the day, like an evening reception that's kind of a little bit, you know, too long anyway, then fine. Or if you don't mind your food coming out cold, then fine, right? But usually when things are late or delayed, it comes at the cost of something else. And if you've got a jam-packed fun day, yeah, something's gotta go. Yeah. And the thing is, it's you know, a lot of suppliers are based on hours, so you know, it would be unfair to expect a photographer or whatever to stay longer than their hours without them, you know, having a full right to charge you extra for it.

SPEAKER_05 28:54

It fucking winds me up. That winds up. I don't know. That has gotta be one of the biggest pet heaves from a supplier to a supplier.

SPEAKER_02 29:05

Not peeves. Not like pet. This will be an Instagram.

SPEAKER_04 29:12

Pet peeves. Yeah, you knew what I meant. Or pet hangs.

SPEAKER_02 29:15

Things that annoy me. Yeah, well that's a pet peeve of mine. People can't talk properly. Yeah, mate. Anyway, carry on. Spell peeves. Peeves? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:23

P W V E S.

SPEAKER_05 29:26

You won't get to say that. You're a peeve. She interrupted. Anyway, that's my pet hate when a photographer's there. It's like seven o'clock, the first dance is seven fifteen, and he's like, oh well, I've only got 14 minutes and I'm I'm pretty much done. I'm like, mate, you've been paid two and a half grand and you're pissed off that you've got to stay for an extra five minutes because the bride's just having golden hour shots. Sorry about that. So any photographer that does it by an hour needs to change their model. No, and they need to they need to go to the first dance, and then if the couple want you for the day, the first dance is your cut-off, surely.

SPEAKER_01 29:59

That's what I do.

SPEAKER_05 30:01

Charging them an extra invoiced hour because they were there five minutes after their first dance.

SPEAKER_02 30:05

No, I'm not just crazy. No, I think I always say I'll stay until about half an hour after first dance, yeah. So I can get loads of dancing shots. Um and 99% of the time, I've never had an issue. Okay. I think the latest I've ever been out of a wedding is probably like nine o'clock. Apart from one wedding where the bride and groom had a massive argument just after the speeches. She went off to a room and she was in there for like two hours. The cake cutting was was delayed, the first dance was delayed. And I and the groom said to me, You can just go home if you want. I don't know if she's coming back. And I said, I can't go home. I can't. I've got to do the last two things, the cut and the cake and the first dance. So I hung around.

SPEAKER_01 30:45

Is there anyone else? Is there anyone else around that can cut the cake with the well no?

SPEAKER_02 30:50

So I waited two hours, right, for her to come out, and it got to like nine o'clock, and I was just about to be like, right, I've got to draw a line somewhere. And then she comes out of her hotel room, you know, and then I'm like, right, can you cut the cake now, please?

SPEAKER_03 31:02

They're gonna know who this is too, aren't they?

SPEAKER_02 31:05

Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if they know, because it's a it has to happen.

SPEAKER_05 31:09

Yeah, I'm not gonna be able to do that. And you are a legend because you stay two hours without sending an invoice.

SPEAKER_02 31:13

Yeah, and and I'm that's why you are a knight's tale. And and they're they're still together in case you're wondering. No, there was such a lovely couple, they were such a lovely couple. I thought, look, they've had a little argument, and I I'm not gonna miss those two important points of the day because they've had an argument. She comes back, they cut the cake, cool. First dance, she she said, I'm not dancing with him. Did she actually? Yeah. So um love that. So I'm glad I waited. Anyway, um, but no, there's no.

SPEAKER_01 31:44

I'll try the cake because I'm hungry, but I'm not dancing.

SPEAKER_02 31:46

So so she ends up dancing with a maid of honour or whatever. Anyway, um so what about um then like we talked about dramas and mistakes and weather and stuff, but what about like vendor mistakes? Right? So like even great vendors mess up. Um I mean we mentioned like I mean none of us have ever messed up, right? But what about if a DJ plays the wrong version of a song?

SPEAKER_05 32:12

Like I hear that though, I I I hear it all the time. Yeah, photographers like, oh, you never guessed what happened last week. He was he was about to play the song and he played a complete different Ed shearing track to what they asked for, yeah, and then they looked at him and he couldn't change it because he couldn't have he didn't get the Wi-Fi, and the Wi-Fi wouldn't download the track. I'm like, but then you spend 150 quid on your entertainment all night, you're gonna have a guy turn up with a light on his head and ask for a table and put his like iPad on it. That's yeah, it's the same thing, isn't it? Yeah, and it happens, but people uh it annoys me because people always want to save money on certain things, and music and entertainment is always the like you talked about the ceremony chart, right?

SPEAKER_01 32:53

With a with the chart.

SPEAKER_05 32:54

I'll tell you that's pretty cheap. That would be good to work out what is more important to them. We should make an app.

SPEAKER_02 33:00

I think it should be Harry Harry I think I mentioned another episode about the magician that um turned up, really hungover, smelled of alcohol, and then disappeared, which wasn't part of his act. Um so that was yeah, that was uh definitely his problem. Um so well I've got some questions. So Jake from Surrey What's the answer? What's it? Where about he didn't specify actually? But Surrey is quite a big place. Yeah, but some people don't like to, you know, who they are. Because if they said I'm from Godalming, do you know what I mean? He was quite happy to go, I'm from Surrey. Yeah. Yeah, Surrey just sounds nice, though. Um he said what's he asked, what's the biggest mistake couples make?

SPEAKER_01 33:49

Um I think is that the question is what's the biggest the biggest mistake I think the couples make is stressing is getting to the day. So you can stress about the wedding up until the day, but I think the biggest mistake is letting the day arrive and then continuing to stress about it.

SPEAKER_03 34:10

Um I would say not having time to yourselves during the day.

SPEAKER_01 34:15

Yeah, but I feel like we are in a position to fabricate that, and I always make sure I usually say, guys, go and have five minutes yourself. So as long as you have good supplies, that'll happen anyway. Yeah. That's not necessarily on that.

SPEAKER_05 34:27

I think couples overthink what they feel their guests should have. Like they think it's a full-on circus all day where their guests have to walk in the door and there is stuff going on at all points for them from start to finish.

SPEAKER_01 34:38

Yeah, okay, but that that kind of does remind me of like so when you actually think about a wedding, right? Yes, the wedding is there predominantly because you want to tie the knot with your other half, right? But let's not sort of get it twisted, right? It's actually you're putting on a party for all your guests. So I do agree with what you're saying, but at the same time, like you know But you fucking don't, do you? Because you're literally doing a whole spiel about it. No, I do get what you're saying, like, but actually I just dis disagree with it. Yeah, there we go. So you're not No, I understand where you're coming from.

SPEAKER_05 35:14

But like the ceremony is half an hour, like if you can't not have a beer for half an hour at that point, but you're like, No, you know what I mean? You've got half an hour to do, you then got a couple of photos, you've got to be in, you can then do whatever you want in the afternoon, but then you sit there for three courses.

SPEAKER_01 35:27

But you don't get you don't get a guitarist or a harpist and a you know, a band and a DJ and a photo booth and like a fancy meal and all of that stuff, not not just for you two, you do it kind of to show off a little bit, yeah, because you want your guests to have a great time, and it it is actually a lot about the guests, and this is what we talked about with with um with the the pie chart and what's important because entertainment is actually for your guests, isn't it?

SPEAKER_05 35:53

Yeah, but couples don't I don't think couples think about it, like especially in the evenings, it's like okay, we're gonna you know, we've got a band, okay. The band are gonna be on straight after the first dance, then everyone goes outside. So for the first part of the band set that they've paid nearly two, three grand for big entertainment, big part of the like the day, they've they've missed it because it's a summer's wedding, so they've missed the first set. Then you've got a photo booth in a separate room around the corner. So I'll tell you what, we'll spend another five, six hundred quid and we're going to that's a great entertainment for our guests. But what we do is we put that there, we've got that there, we've got a ban going on there.

SPEAKER_01 36:28

That's not what you just said. You said that you were you think the guests, the the couple worry too much about the guests having a good time. No, it's the same principle.

SPEAKER_05 36:35

So then they're buying a photo, they're buying a band, they're buying a DJ, they're buying.

SPEAKER_01 36:39

So what you've then just said is actually about how they logistically go about doing it, right? So what you I what you're saying is that you agree that the that the guests need to have a good time, but maybe just need to go about it in a bit more of a sensible, planned out, strategic way. Yeah. I've won this one. Don't act like you have. I have, because you basically just said that it should be all about the couple and not about the guests. But then, if that's the case, then the couple are going to be having a great time.

SPEAKER_05 37:04

No, it should be about the guests as well, but not as if not as like the whole thing is planned for your hundred people turning up. It's actually for the people who are getting married. That's what is there, that's why a wedding exists.

SPEAKER_01 37:15

I think that is the misconception. I think that it's actually like subliminally more about the guests than it is about the couple because that's a big call for a wedding.

SPEAKER_03 37:28

I'm just saying more on Dean's side of this, but Go on, Amber. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:35

I'm just saying, what if it was just all about YouTube, right? Then why would you spend 20, 30 days? I think it's just when you could when you could go to a registry office and you could go on a cruise to Australia for three months.

SPEAKER_02 37:46

Like, I think there's there's I I think 50-50 because I think like, for example, right, this is like when I got married, I spent ages putting a playlist together of of music to be in the background of the um the wedding breakfast. Yeah, I spent ages like crafting this playlist, and every song on that playlist I loved, right? However, I also made sure there were songs on there that I know my mum would have loved, you know, and you know, a mixture of genres. Yeah. So I I made it to please myself, yeah. Well, obviously I'm a wife, but also that other guests would enjoy as well. If it was if I was just gonna be selfish and make it about me, you know, it would just be like, you know, oasis or whatever. You know what I mean? Like one's very one-sided, so I tried to make it a mixture to please everyone.

SPEAKER_01 38:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:28

So anyway, that's that's a small example.

SPEAKER_01 38:30

Would you, if it was just you two in a room, would you go to that much trouble and that much cost? You're do you're you go the extra mile because there are other people. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 38:41

And basically, but I'm talking about doing a marathon or doing a 10k. Like the couples are doing a marathon when they don't they could get away with a 10k. That's my point. I I think to to think, oh yeah, I'm gonna have this massive bougie thing and I'm gonna get glowed to, and I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna put flip-flops on, I'm gonna do everything possible. You can go to a flop and then they've got a crowd who don't dance because they're not dancers. But what's the point in spending money at a team who on flip-flops personalised? If you've got a crowd who danced, great, then focus on that and the band and like that's your thing. But for me, couples don't, they will go, I've been to a wedding fan and I saw this guy with candy floss. Everyone, not really, they're all like fit fit crew who are into nutrition, but we're just gonna chuck loads of candy floss out because it's a thing, another thing to distract the whole of the world from a wedding. That's my point, okay.

SPEAKER_02 39:28

But just like with everything in life, you know, you can't please everyone. No, so even if it pleases like 20 people, the candy floss thing, and then the band pleases 50 people, and you know, someone is there's something for everyone. Yeah, yeah. And I think that's how you've got to think about it. You're not-I mean, when you plu when this DJ plays the first dance song, 100 people might love that song as well. Yeah, it doesn't really matter though, does it? Because it's your first dance. Yeah, the the wedding breakfast food, oh it's pie and chips. Okay, 50 people might love pie and chips, the other 50 people might be like, oh, it's not my favourite, but fuck it. Do you know what I mean? You can't please everyone, you you have got to be a bit selfish. Right, Jake from Surrey. I don't know if we answered. I don't know if we answered your question.

SPEAKER_01 40:08

Um if you told us where you were actually from, we'd make more.

SPEAKER_02 40:11

We need to wrap this up now. So I'll do one more. Um Poppy from Bournemouth. No, do Zach from Boston. Oh, I can't leave Poppy out now. I'll just answer. Okay, go on it. Quick, we'll we'll answer this quickly. How to stay calm? Sorry, how do you stay calm when you feel like things are falling apart? And I just think think about this. Will it matter in five years?

SPEAKER_03 40:34

Fair five years or like next week. Tomorrow. That was an example. Five years is too long.

SPEAKER_01 40:41

Yeah, I reckon like five days.

SPEAKER_03 40:43

Yeah, like a week. No, what I mean.

SPEAKER_00 40:47

You know what I'm stripping about for five years, then we're like, I think that's the biggest conception of weddings.

SPEAKER_02 40:52

I think you're gonna tell you for why. You're missing someone. I don't mean you're gonna fucking cry about it for five years. I mean in five years' time, will you remember that? That's what I mean. I don't mean you're gonna cry about it.

SPEAKER_03 41:04

Probably if you thought about it for five years. No, that's not what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_04 41:07

So I get what you're saying.

SPEAKER_03 41:09

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_04 41:09

Okay, okay. The registrar that forgot to do the ring, she's probably thought about that every time she's done a ceremony ever since. The wedding cake was a bit dry, okay.

SPEAKER_02 41:17

It's a shame. In five years' time, when you think about your wedding, are you gonna be like, oh, do you remember the wedding cake was already dry?

SPEAKER_03 41:22

Yeah, I think you would.

SPEAKER_02 41:23

No, what? Well, we keep talking about numbers, ice one, aren't we? Oh, fuck me. Right, okay.

SPEAKER_03 41:28

Um sorry, Bob.

SPEAKER_02 41:29

We better wrap this up because uh we're we're you know, we're running out of time. Anyway, look, I hope you enjoyed that episode about wedding dramas. Um so just remember if guests don't know it was meant to happen, it's not a problem, okay? So don't sweat the school stuff. Next episode we're gonna be talking about destination weddings, okay? So make sure you email us any questions you've got about wedding boards at iLgmail.com.